Trophy

I've never known a love that did not come with a broken lip,

 and I wore it like a trophy 

every day to remind myself how the heart can be broken

 and still beat as softly as yesterday.

 That heart that I still displayed on my sleeve

 as every time my body was thrown to the ground 

hearts pieces came apart

and

Without hesitation 

savoring every one,

 tucking them into my back pocket

 and handing them out like crumbs to the hungry.

 You see

 I was taught at age 11

 love for me was not necessary,

love for me was worthless,

 but my love for you was priceless,

 my fractured heart

 was all I had to give 

hoping

 it was enough to save you… 

Because I didn't need love to be alive.

mother,

 mother, the one who left us to his mercy

 and you were the best hope for the future,

 you were the ones who could make it out of here,

If I distracted his fury long enough...

 You were the ones that needed my love

and I gave everything I had willingly

 because I knew

 someday

 you may be beaten and broken like me…

 And you’d need every ounce you had

 to keep on loving yourself with enough strength to walk away,

 and when they ask for your story,

I know you will speak of me.

Your big sister…

 Who still names you her best creation, 

the best choice she's ever made.

 You see the war outside is over,

 the breaks and bruises have sunken beneath the flesh

 and etched themselves into the spirit

 and you wonder how

 I still force a smile

and give my everything.

Still today... 

I know I can't be defeated

and I'll tell you

...

 it's because

 deep inside

 I still wears that split lip like a trophy.